leplusbeau: (husband gets the best part)
[personal profile] leplusbeau
Take a moment to yourself. A moment to ponder...the female reproductive system.

Now, get your head out of gutter and picture a lovely flat in London. With flowers and herbs in the window box, an oven with a sign magicked to the viewing window 'BEWARE THE GHOUL', and a mish mash of high end furnishings dotted with ancient relics and collectibles among bits of furniture only your mother would love. If your mother loved plaid and earth tone florals.

"Why do you do thiz to me? Why?! 'ave I not treated you well?"

Oh dear.

"Do I not brush you? Care for you? Keep you trimmed?"

"You are waxed and plucked twice a month! You have nothing to be fussy about! I know the water iz hard in Egypt, but it can not be helped! The plumber man can not help! That iz why we kept the place in London because Bill likez it when my skin iz not flakey, and my hair iz not flat. But you must cooperate with me!"

Fleur continues to rant at her naked self in the bathroom mirror.

She then points at the toilet. "Thiz iz your fault! I am calling maintenance in the morning! You will not be here tomorrow!"

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leplusbeau

September 2006

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